#momfail

Have you ever had an epic #momfail?  I just had one recently and BOY did I feel like an idiot!  Let me tell you what, this mama was eating some humble pie.

Let me back it up for you.  Jeff and I are skiers. We figure that if we’re going to be living in the Adirondacks that we should embrace it.  He grew up skiing every week as a kid and is super comfortable bombing down any trail. I’m a bit more conservative and prefer the slow and steady turning method.  I didn’t grow up skiing like he did. My dad had only ever gone skiing once and it was and epic fail and my mom was too scared to go skiing because she was afraid of falling and hurting her teeth. (Love you, Mom!)   I had only gone a handful of times growing up and was not a confident skier. After a ski trip to Killington, VT in college, I discovered how much I LOVED it! There is just nothing like seeing the beauty of the mountains around you and then looking up to the top once you’ve reached the base and thinking, “I did that!  I just made it from the top to the bottom!” So, I decided that in order to be a more confident skier, that I would take some lessons. And because Penn State is the absolute BEST (nope, not biased at all) I took skiing as a gym class my senior year. After six straight weeks of lessons, my confidence soared and felt like I learned the skills to help me be a better skier.  

We want skiing to be a family affair so that we can all four ski together whenever we want to.  We decided that lessons for the boys would be the way to go. Andrew had three lessons last year and LOVED it.  After his first day of lessons he asked Jeff to take him to the top of the mountain to ski down. The instructor said he’s not quite ready for that, so we passed.  

Since Sean is now old enough for lessons, we enrolled them both in six weeks of group lessons and rented them skis for the season.  A couple of days before their first lesson, it snowed, so I put their boots and skis on them to practice in the yard a bit. Both sets of boots looked to be the exact same size, one was silver and brand new and one set was white and used.  I had taken Sean for his fitting and Jeff took Andrew. During Sean’s fitting the pro at the ski shop told me that I was in luck because he had used boots, which would save us a little on the rental. Jeff picked up the equipment once it was ready and nothing was labeled.  Can you see where this is going… I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out… #momlife

Since Andrew had skied last season, I wanted to try his gear on first so that Sean could see him ski.  I put the shiny new silver boots on Andrew and he kept telling me that they were too tight. I brushed him off saying that they were ski boots, they are supposed to be uncomfortable.  He made one run down the slight slope in the side yard and fell over saying that his boots were too small. I took them off with a promise to head to the ski shop the next day.

Sean tried on his gear and did amazing!  During his first run he just had this contagious smile on his face!  YES!! Another skier in the family! He did about eleven more runs in the yard and was showing the neighbors how he well could ski.

The next day I took the boys and Andrew’s boots to the ski shop.  They measured him again and said that he had the right size boots.  He tried them on at the shop and the ski pro said that they fit him just fine and that they didn’t have the next size up, so we couldn’t exchange them that day. He encouraged me to try them at lessons and if they didn’t work to come back and that he’d work on sourcing another pair for him.  

The next day was their first day of lessons.  If you’ve ever gotten kids ready to play in the snow, you know how stressful it is getting all of their snow gear on them.  We arrived at the mountain and checked in for their lessons. After less than two minutes of standing with his group, Sean decided he had to go potty.  We hiked from the lesson meeting spot to the lodge, which is quite a walk for a little guy in ski boots. I stripped off the snow gear, he did his business and we made it back to the lesson spot.  Boy was I sweating after all of that! He finally got his skis back on and I saw that I had several missed calls from Jeff.

I called him back just as he was exiting the ski rental shop.  He found us and it turned out that Andrew was in tears because his boots hurt his feet.  They had a debacle where he tried to rent boots from the rental shop on the mountain, but since we didn’t rent the skis from them, they wouldn’t touch the bindings.  Andrew wasn’t going to ski in his lesson today. Meanwhile, Sean’s instructor told him to take off his skis to walk to the base of the bunny hill for lessons and he threw a huge fit because he had just walked all the way back to the lodge and didn’t want to walk anymore in those boots.  He said he didn’t want to ski.

I don’t know about you, but I was raised not to quit something in the middle, you had to finish it out and if you didn’t like it then you wouldn’t have to sign up next time.  Plus, we paid a TON of money for lessons and gear. We budgeted like crazy to ensure that our kids could do this. Not to mention that they had just gotten helmets and goggles for Christmas.  

I told Jeff to switch me kids since he was in charge of Andrew and I was in charge of Sean for this adventure.  We switched and he headed to the bunny hill with Sean and I headed towards the lodge with Andrew. I was convinced that Andrew was being ridiculous because the ski pro said that these boots were the right size!  I made a deal with him. If he would put the boots back on and go at least one run down the bunny hill that if they still hurt that he could stop for the day. I got the boots on him and we hiked it up to the bunny hill while he whined the whole way.  

Once we got there I saw Jeff holding Sean who was crying and refusing to go with the instructor for lessons.  Andrew began crying and saying that his feet hurt. Jeff’s already short temper finally blew. “We’re done,” he said.  Both boys said they quit skiing and never wanted to ski again.

After all of the tears and after much discussion on the way home, we concluded that we weren’t going to let them quit.  I would take Sean skiing during the week to practice before the next lesson and we would try to find Andrew a different pair of boots.  

I took Sean to the park a few days later to practice, and as I packed his ski gear it hit me.  I never tried the white boots on Andrew! Because the ski pro said that Sean’s were used, and the white ones fit in Sean’s bindings, it never occurred to me to try them on Andrew!  FACEPALM. I tried the fancy new silver boots on Sean… they fit. I snapped him into his skis… they fit the bindings. OMG.

After school that day, I had Andrew try on the white boots.  “Mom, these are PERFECT!” he said. He put his skis on, did a few runs in the yard.  Yep! I am an idiot. I could have prevented this whole thing if I had JUST switched the boots!  The answer was right in front of me the whole time and it took me five freaking days to figure it out.  I was eating humble pie as I called the ski shop to tell them to stop looking for a new pair of boots. I felt terrible.  What a freaking #momfail!

I didn’t listen to my kid when he was telling me that he was in pain.  Poor Andrew was wearing boots that were two sizes too small for him. What a jerk I was, thinking that he was just being a whiner about the boots and pushing him not to quit.

It was a huge lesson for me.  I was so concerned about teaching them lessons on not quitting and wanting them to learn the techniques of skiing so they could ski confidently. I wanted to protect MY dream of us skiing as a family that I didn’t consider their feelings.  Next time, I’ll take Sean to the bathroom before lessons and ensure that he gets in plenty of practice before he has to go with the instructor. I will also be present for both ski and boot fittings and ask the ski shop to label them. And we will most definitely sign up for private lessons instead of group lessons.

The second week of ski lessons Jeff was on his own while I was out of town.  Andrew was ready for lessons, but Sean had a meltdown in the parking lot. They didn’t even make it to the bunny hill.  

I called the office at the mountain and spoke with the woman who coordinated the lessons.  She explained that because Sean just turned four, that he might not be ready for group lessons just yet.  She issued us a refund for the remaining lessons on a gift card that we can use to take him skiing on our own.  

Andrew finally made it to a lesson and loved it!  And while I want to instill in them the spirit of sticking with something and not quitting, I will be more compassionate towards their feelings.  Have you ever had a #momfail like this? It’s only truly a failure if you don’t learn from it. Give yourself some grace, girlfriend, and take what you learned and put it to use.  You’ve got this!